To be honest, I want you to GET PISSED OFF! …Why?
Because the FULL EXPERIENCE of life has essentially been STOLEN from us. Many of us have become numbed, depressed, apathetic, addicted to substances, and in severe cases : suicidal or violent towards others. And the culprit? I believe it boils down to our Toxic Society and the Unresolved Trauma that we experience growing up in it.
Sometimes it is difficult to discern whether these traumas are from childhood, passed on from our parents / ancestors, from past lives ( yes this can happen! ) or empathically absorbed from others. Often it is some combination of these. Wherever the traumas came from, they leave their intense imprint in our BodyMind System. There is almost always a wounded Psychological imprint AND a traumatic imprint in the Physical body (which can manifest in many ways : numbness, pain, autoimmune disorders, distorted fascia, imbalanced posture or many other symptoms).
Sidenote - This whole article is a direct excerpt of a chapter from my book State of Being. If you enjoy this article and want to buy a physical copy of the book, you can get a signed copy by emailing me : KevinMayCoaching@gmail.com or you can CLICK HERE TO GET IT ON AMAZON.
>>> Since I was about 13 years old I have battled with different types of Chronic Pain. Although this journey has been immensely challenging, PAIN has also been my greatest teacher…
I was diagnosed with RND at age 17, which is very similar to Fibromyalgia. It is considered a Mind-Body or PsychoSomatic disorder. Many doctors like John Sarno (author of "Healing Back Pain") believe that the CAUSE is essentially UNPROCESSED / REPRESSED Emotions.
I believe this to be largely the case. When our natural response to an event is STIFLED, and we REPRESS the energy that would normally come out in the form of ANGER, JOY, SADNESS, or SEXUAL AROUSAL, etc, it essentially creates an INDENTATION in our Body's energetic and physical system. Where the chi (life energy) would normally flow smoothly and naturally, this Indentation creates a blockage and essentially a bubble of numbness.
Although my childhood was relatively normal, and I had very loving parents, I REPRESSED and IGNORED many of my bodies inclination towards all 4 of those categories (ANGER, JOY, SADNESS, or SEXUAL AROUSAL.) This caused considerable SHUT DOWN in my Nervous System. All bodies naturally want to be in EQUILIBRIUM, and so I believe that my body gave me the gift of CHRONIC PAIN to get my attention to do whatever it takes to heal, and UN-NUMB myself.
Over the past 16 years, I have had Chronic Pain manifest in over 12 different parts of my body. Each time it comes, it invites / forces me to BECOME MORE PRESENT and RAISE MY CONSCIOUSNESS + Self-Awareness on Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Levels.
Some say PAIN stands for P.ay A.ttention I.nternally N.ow
Each time pain manifests, it invites me to FEEL the feelings that I didn't in the past, and the result is nothing short of a SOUL RETRIEVAL, where a missing puzzle piece, which felt like a gaping hole in my being, finally comes back, and it is the most glorious home-coming experience! This has happened to me countless times, though each time is incredibly profound! ( Doing this practice of Reclaiming Sensation, and literally feeling like new parts of my body are coming back to life was what catalyzed me to share the mantra : HEALING IS COOL. This is because it is so dang cool to get to feel more at home and empowered in your BodyMindSpirit. )
The repressed emotions are stored energetically and sometimes physically (in the form of tension and toxins) in our organs, connective tissue and muscle tissues. In order to change the “e-motion” (energy in motion) into a more harmonious state, I have discovered a helpful metaphor to understand the process. This is called “The Ice Cube Metaphor.” Imagine that your body is an ice cube. Frozen solid, it is extremely difficult to change its shape or structure. If you heat up this big ice cube, then it begins to liquefy, and becomes malleable and changeable. Once your body / ice cube is malleable, you can add a new imprint or design to it. Then, you can cool down your body / ice cube and it will remember some of these new imprints. My main form of heating up my body and starting to subtly shift the tension into harmony is EXERCISE. In addition to this, all of the 10 other elements listed below help with the metamorphosis process.
Another fitting metaphor is to explain that even though I’ve been a pretty functional human, my body was much like a crumpled up plastic water bottle, with thousands of little indentations, where I had repressed emotions and energy. By doing the Reclaiming Sensation practices regularly for over a decade, I’ve been able to make that crumpled water bottle look and feel close to brand new.
I honestly don't think hardly anyone would believe how many hours I have put into the practice that I call "RECLAIMING SENSATION" over the past 16 years. For example, while living in Florida I would spend up to 5 hours every night in a public park, by myself - stretching and doing breath work while standing up, barefoot in the grass. I was there so often, I knew when the sprinklers would come on at 4 am, and I would have to dodge them like a jewel thief avoiding red lasers! I would do my Reclaiming Sensation practices until the sun came up, and all the dog walkers at this park knew me as that weird, but nice guy who stretches in the grass.
A part of me is hesitant to share how absolutely intense my journey of Healing Trauma has been, because I don't want people to lose hope. I do believe Healing is possible, but for me it has taken a motha-lovin Herculean effort. And as many other people on this journey report : It often seems to get WORSE before it gets BETTER. When you shine the light of consciousness and bring fresh energy into an area that has been numb / unconscious or ignored for many years, it is usually UNCOMFORTABLE to say the least.
With that said, Healing Trauma is kind of like telling your kids not to drink alcohol. People are likely going to try to heal their trauma, so you might as well help them do it as safely as possible.
There are a zillion books, videos, and therapists which I recommend (many are listed in the previous chapter). AND I do feel called to share my practice that I call "Reclaiming Sensation." It fuses and builds upon many different schools of thought, and I am certainly open to feedback and evolving it, but this is what has and continues to work for me. After doing this practice for many years, I discovered a system called “De-armoring” which is very similar. Body armor was first written about in the 1930’s by Wilhelm Reich, who was a pioneer in this field. Also, Jonathan Tripodi, author of “Freedom from Body Memory,” shares a process he calls “Unwinding” which is similar to both Reclaiming Sensation and the S Modality.
>>> For a glimpse into this process, currently the area in which I am Reclaiming Sensation is the top of my head. Similar to how my entire back and spine were mostly numb before I healed them, I am realizing that the top of my head has accrued a great deal of trauma / shutdown / numbness from various injuries and traumatic experiences. So in order to get more energy and sensation back into the top of my head (or any other target area), here is my protocol :
The practice of Reclaiming Sensation can include and often combines these 10 different elements ( listed in no particular order ).
First, I recommend taking a minute or two to tune into what area of your body feels numb, stiff, or is generally calling out for attention. Let’s call whichever spot you choose “the target area.” Then I encourage you to set a general time frame that you intend to do this practice for. Before trying any of these, I recommend reading through this entire chapter so you get an overview. The key is to use your intuition to decide which of these 10 actions or some combination is right for you each time you do some inner work.
1. Sending Divine Healing Energy through my hands to the target area. This practice is similar to the Japanese Healing practice called Reiki, which I have great respect for. There are many Master Teachers and schools to practice the specific nuances of Reiki. With that said, I feel compelled to remind everyone that we all have the natural birthright to channel what I simply refer to as “Divine Healing Energy.”
In order to tap into this Divine Healing Energy, I firstly remind you that every human on Earth has a divine spark within them. So that means you have a wellspring of Source Energy that you can tap into, if you set that clear intention. If you want to tap into this energy, then I invite you to say the Affirmation three times : “I ALLOW DIVINE HEALING ENERGY TO FLOW THROUGH MY HANDS.” Then I invite you to place your hand or hands on a targeted area of your body, and envision golden healing energy flowing from a source beyond you, and bringing fresh vitality into the target area. I recommend doing this for anywhere between 5 minutes to an hour, and taking note of any subtle shifts that you experience.
2. Massaging the area and noticing all subtle sensations. Similar to channeling Divine Healing Energy, we all have the instinctive basic skills of massage. If you don’t think you have any massage skills, then I encourage you to question that belief and tap into the primal instincts of your body for practicing self-massage. Simply pushing with your hand, fingers, or elbow into an area of tension, can help to bring more blood flow into that spot, which allows more oxygen and nutrients to reach that target area. Exploring self-massage has been an absolutely MASSIVE aspect of my journey of Reclaiming Sensation.
3. Breathing oxygen and energy directly into the target area with as much presence as I can muster. I imagine that each breath I inhale, the fresh air is flowing directly into the area which I am focusing on. Then I usually hold my hand or a finger to the area, and let the energy or pain "pulse through" for as long as I intuitively feel called to. When I say “pulse through,” it often feels like 2 things are happening, sometimes simultaneously :
A. It feels like trapped electricity is diffusing out of the area, which is essentially the stored electrical charge related to a repressed emotion.
B. It also feels like I channel fresh, healing energy through my hands / fingers and it starts to bring the numb or traumatized area back to life.
In addition to this process of focusing my breath into the target area, I also like to explore other types of Breathwork. I focus on a mixture of mouth-breathing and nose-breathing, depending on how I am intuitively guided. One mouth-focused breath which I’ve gained a lot from is : making the sound Hoo-Hoo Ha-Ha (using the sound of my breath, not my voice) and channeling powerful energy while repeating those sounds.
Breathing intentionally directly brings awareness, life-force, and oxygen to the area of focus. I love to do this Standing Up, and barefoot in the grass. I discovered that laying down while doing breathwork often caused me to feel dissociated and overwhelmed my nervous system, but if I do it while standing, I remain grounded. It is KEY to make sure you are not doing it too intensely, because it is possible to get lightheaded or faint.
4. Practicing the “S” Modality. I will go much deeper into explaining this practice in the next chapter. It is ideally practiced while standing barefoot in the grass. This allows me to literally dis-charge the excess emotional electrical charge that was repressed and stored in the numb / indented area. I also draw in fresh chi / life-energy and Healing Electrons from Mother Earth, which leaves me feeling refreshed and clear-minded.
5. Intertwining with all of those 4 techniques is stretching and yoga. Doing various stretches and yoga poses helps bring better energy and blood flow, dexterity and sensation to all parts of the body.
6. Being very intentional to practice "Titration." This means only going one step / layer at a time, and not trying to heal all your trauma overnight. As Trevor Hall sings "Youuu can't rush your healingggg."
7. Taking note of any memories, insights, thought patterns that come up. I like to bring a notebook or use the notes app on my phone during or after doing this practice. This helps me get my thoughts and feelings down and out of my head. It can also be helpful to talk to a friend or a Coach or Therapist, and utilize other integration practices.
8. Practicing Affirmation Activations. I go much deeper into this practice in Chapter 23 “The Secret To A Great Life.” It is essentially a system for creating more INTENTIONAL THOUGHTS and WORDS. I love to utilize this Affirmation Activation during my Reclaiming Sensation practice : “It is my greatest benefit to reclaim the next layers of sensation in my ________ (insert whichever target area you are focusing on).
9. Exercise + Strength Training. As I mentioned earlier with the Ice Cube Metaphor - heating up your body through exercise is pretty essential for warming up muscles and connective tissue, so that they can purge old stuck emotions and toxins, and also draw in fresh oxygen, blood, and life-force energy.
Additionally, building actual muscle through strength training has worked absolute wonders for my healing process and helped me to reclaim sensation in so many parts of my body. When trauma occurs, it often creates constriction, tension, and knots within the fascia aka connective tissue - which is intertwined with every single muscle in your body. By building strength in the muscles, it has empowered me to be able to smooth out and restore function to the fascia as well! This has been particularly noticeable on my belly and abs. Having strong abs enables me to feel like I am pushing from below the fascia, then I can push my finger onto my skin directly above the tightened fascia. Coming at it from both sides has enabled me to unlock sensation in so many parts of my belly and other parts of my body as well!
10. Utilizing a Plant or Fungi Medicine. Cacao, Coffee, Hapé, a teaspoon of Black Cumin Seed Oil, or a microdose of Psilocybin are all medicines which I occasionally utilize to assist in the Reclaiming Sensation process. Generally speaking, they each serve as a “download of light” into my BodyMind System, and thus they illuminate the next subtle layers of “shadow energy” which are actually just areas that have been shut down or in a relative state of numbness. These medicines can help to activate these dormant areas and as you practice some of the previous 9 elements I listed, you can harmoniously integrate a new level of light and awareness into your being. ( With that said, I think it is important to respect these sacred medicines, and only use them occasionally. I go into much more detail in chapter 10 : “Psychedelics and Entheogens,” and I also recommend referring to that chapter for the Integration Tools list, which can be helpful if you unlock a new layer of sensation in your body. )
>>> These 10 techniques for Reclaiming Sensation have literally helped me to get my life back from the joy-stealing meanie of Chronic Pain, which I believe is actually often Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPSTD). I am not saying or promising that they will work for everyone, but I feel compelled to share the formula that has worked wonders for me for at least the past 10 years.
As I mentioned earlier, sometimes it feels like you take 3 steps back, to take 1 step forward, when doing the Reclaiming Sensation practice. The process of healing can be similar to when you used to fall asleep in class at your desk in middle school. You’d wake up and your forearm would have “pins and needles,” because blood flow had been greatly diminished while you slept in class. You then had to endure some discomfort for the sensation to return. It is a similar, but usually much more prolonged process to Reclaim Sensation in areas of your BodyMind System that have been shut down or numb for many years. As you continue to work on a target area, I am confident that you will sense a positive shift taking place. Sometimes the stuck or numb areas cause old fears to bubble up to the surface of your conscious awareness. This is an opportunity for these old stories, memories and feelings to be felt, seen, blessed and released, layer by layer.
The Reclaiming Sensation journey is an invitation to explore TRUST. Trust in the process. Trust in the intelligence of life and the ancient wisdom of your body. It is also an opportunity to anchor into your connection to the divine, and to pray for guidance and strength to take the next action steps on your Healing Journey.
If you want to explore this practice, I recommend starting by doing it for about 45 minutes twice a week, and noticing what you feel and discover. I also recommend doing additional research into the practice of De-armoring (also spelled armouring). There are many skilled practitioners who do 1-on-1 sessions as well as group classes and programs. Check out the-gaia-method.com
