In order to heal your “Inner Child”, it is necessary to form a relationship and enter into communication with this innocent dimension of yourself. I learned a lot of this intuitively and also by reading Jon Bradshaw’s book “Homecoming : Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.”
In this practice, I invite “Lil Kevin” to share how he is feeling or any memories he wants to share. Here are some examples of how I would talk with my him. First I set aside some space and time to have a conversation with my Inner Child. Just like I’m putting on a skit, I play both roles, and use my average speaking voice for my adult self, and a softer, innocent voice for my child self. I will use “Lil Kevin” for this example :
Adult Self : Hey Kevin, how are you feeling today?
Lil Kevin : I’m feeling okay. I guess I’m a little sad.
Adult Self : Why are you feeling sad?
Lil Kevin : I feel like you’re ignoring me. You’re being too serious, and not playing with me enough.
Adult Self : Thank you for sharing this. I hear you. How would you like to play together?
Lil Kevin : I want to go swimming. And I want to play soccer. And I want to dance more.
Adult Self : Okay, thank you for sharing what you want to do. I will do my best to schedule these activities into the next week or two.
Lil Kevin : Yay! Thank you :)
Adult Self : Is there anything else you want to share?
Lil Kevin : Yea, I wanna share how scared I was when I had to go out in public without my mommy or daddy with me. Like when I was with my babysitter, and she took me to the outdoor swimming pool, and I had to go in the locker room by myself. I felt scared.
Adult Self : Thank you for sharing this. I hear you. It is totally normal that you felt scared. I want you to know that you are safe now. I am here to protect you, love you, and take care of you.
Lil Kevin : Are you sure? Are you sure you’re not gonna leave me?
Adult Self : Yes, I’m sure. I am here for you anytime you want to share anything with me.
Lil Kevin : Okay. Thank you. Can we have a hug?
Adult Self : Of course. (At this point I wrap my arms around myself and give myself a hug for at least 30 seconds)
Key Concepts to remember for Inner Child Healing :
1. Ask your Inner Child how he/she is feeling emotionally.
2. Ask them why they are feeling this way.
3. Ask them what fears / desires they want to express.
4. Assure them that you hear them, thank them for sharing, and assure them that whatever they are feeling / expressing is okay, and they are allowed to feel that way.
5. Assure them that you are able to protect / take care of them, and that they are safe now.
6. If they have specific requests that seem reasonable, you can assure them that you will do your best to meet those needs.
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Thanks for reading. This article is an excerpt from Philo Lila’s book “Unlocking Our Superpowers.” If you’d like to get your own copy, here is the link.
For more on The Healing Process, please explore the other posts on this site :)
